So, every day I get on the bus at the same time. (I am boring.) And then, every day, this girl gets on about four stops after me. Every single day, she sits down, opens her bag, and proceeds to put on her makeup. Now, I know what you're thinking: "Bella, don't be a jerky turd. Everybody touches up now and then."

Except this girl does not touch up. It is as though the bus is her own personal moving powder room.

This is her routine:
1. Applies Caudalie lotion.
2. Applies eye cream.
3. Applies tinted moisturizer.
4. Applies concealer.
5. Applies another kind of concealer.
6. Applies powder with puff.
7. Applies Benefit That Gal
8. Draws on eyebrows with pencil.
9. Applies two or three shades of eye shadow.
10. Eyeliner time.
10. Mascara time (this takes a long time. Many coats.)
11. Lip liner.
12. Lipstick
13. Lip gloss.

This is as far as I get, because after about 20 minutes, I have to get off the bus, while she stays aboard.

Look, I'm sure she's a very nice girl! Very nice! Yet I cannot stop staring at her when she does this routine. For a long time, I would slap myself on the wrist and say, "Leave it alone, Bella. You are being weird and judgmental and you are turning into your mother." But today, this poor little old man (in a Keith Sweat hat, which was awesome) came on the bus, all 80-something years of him kinda swaying with every step, and he looked around for a seat. All of the seats at the front of the bus were filled. Makeup Applier, who is young and seemingly able-bodied, did not give her seat up for Elderly Keith Sweat. So now I feel slightly less awful for silently judging.

Anyway, am I nuts? Or would this drive you crazy as well? Am I alone in wanting to say, "Wake up 10 minutes earlier!"?